Facing the issues: Abuse

Growing up is confusing enough. When adults do things that hurt children or young people emotionally or physically, it gets really tough to know what to do. The answer to that question has to be, ‘tell someone you trust and keep telling until someone listens to you.’ There are many ways that you could be hurt or abused, including physical, sexual or emotional abuse and neglect.

Physical abuse:
Hitting, kicking, biting, beating, throwing and shaking are examples of physical abuse. They can cause physical pain, cuts, bruises, broken bones and occasionally go even further.

Sexual abuse:
If anyone, parent, relative, friend or a stranger, persuades you or forces you to look at sexual images, talk or listen to talk about sex, be touched in a sexual way or even take part in sexual acts, then that is sexual abuse.

Emotional abuse:
When love, acceptance or approval are withheld, or you are constantly verbally abused, criticised or shouted at, or you are blamed for everything and told that you are worthless, this is emotional abuse.

Neglect:
If parents or others who are supposed to be looking after children or young people do not provide them with appropriate food, warmth, shelter, clothing, care and protection, this is called neglect.

If you are experiencing any of these, then it is important you read the next section. Abuse can cause physical injury, and often leaves emotional scars. People who have grown up being abused can feel worthless, unlovable, betrayed, and powerless. They often feel confused, frightened and find it hard to trust people. Some feel that it must in some way be their fault. It is not their fault and it is important to know that…

Children have a right to be safe.
Children are not to blame for being abused - the person hurting them is the one who has done wrong.
Children shouldn't feel they have to deal with abuse on their own.
Children should tell a person they can trust, such as a parent, teacher, relative or friend, if they are being abused in any way, even if they are worried about what might happen next.
It is okay for children not to keep secrets about being abused.
Children may not be believed when they talk about abuse. This does not mean they are lying. They should try to find someone who will believe them, phone us here at the Wirral Christian Centre, or a helpline like Child Line on 0800 11 11.

Some abusers make threats to hurt or do worse things it the abused child or young person tells or seeks help. The truth is that if you tell, they loose their power over you. Once other people know, they can help you, help to stop the abuse and stop the threats. While you keep it a secret, the abuser can tell you lies and there is no one to tell you the truth.

God does care

I believe that there is a God who cares about how we each of us feels, whether we are happy or sad. Even if you do not know whether you believe this, why not pray to God. Tell him about how you feel, and ask him for help.

The Bible tells us that Jesus said, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life!’(John 14:6) and ‘I am come that they might have life, and have it more abundantly" John 10.10. God’s plan for your life is to experience his truth and have a great life. God hates the all the abuse and neglect and calls it sin, and it is vital that you talk to somebody so that it stops, now. No matter whom the person is or what threats they have made, you must find the courage to speak out so that people can come and help you.

I know that it can be scary and hard to be brave enough to talk to someone, but God really does understand how you feel. He shares your fear, sadness and sense of isolation. Jesus was bullied, called names, and even whipped, even though he had done nothing wrong. He knows how much it hurts. Believe that you are not worthless; you are special and God loves you. That’s why he sent Jesus to the earth 2,000 years ago. You are very special to God, and he is with you.

Go to our Contact page and email us, phone the Wirral Christian Centre and speak to one of our workers, or phone a help line like Child Line on 0800 11 11.

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